Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Addiction Two...."love shows"

Once upon a time there was the show "The Dating Game" innocent civilians wanted to score dates with hot babes and dudes so why not do it on national TV....Then of course it moved on to the Bachelor and Bachelorette...lets have them live with 20 strangers and find true love through random dates....

Of course Hollywood had to one up it and create CELEBRITY love connection shows.

It started with the infamous Flaaaaaaaaaavor Flaaaaaaaaav....
An outdated, second rate rap star looking for love....I'm not sure if they had a casting call or if they just went to the dive bars all over the scrubbiest cities in the US to find these ladies....but what they found were car wreck....no TRAIN wreck women from all walks of life. (I mean they'd have to be wrecks of some sort because who in their right mind falls in love with some who calls themselves Flavor?)

They shacked them up in a ritzy mansion, forcing them to be roommates with each other and compete in ridiculous challenges to win this man's(??? or is he???) love.

At the end of some awful challenge he then offered them enormous clocks (like the one he so fashionably sports himself) with their pictures on them as a token to show he wants them to say (a "flavorized" rendition of the rose ceremony stolen from the Bachelor series)

And again I have to admit one lazy Saturday when the snow was coming down in good old NH I watched the first episode of this series...(which of course was followed by every other episode as it was a marathon) I was hooked.

I mean who doesn't enjoy watching grown women prance around in skimpy clothing starting b*tch fights with each other as to whose weave is real or fake??? puuuuuure entertainment-----(not)

Any who.....VH1 thought they had something....they started with Flavor...which is where of course we met Neeeeeeeeeew Yoooooork...she mysteriously showed up in the second series...because of course the lovely lady who stole Flav's heart in series one didn't work out so he's got to keep trying....and she was dissed and dismissed again..(rejection once hurts...but twice on national TV now that is just down right humiliating) ....::cough cough:: take a hint.... so of course from her humiliating rejections spawned her own series.....




I love NY....Another horribly bad show about a pathetic individual searching for love for all to see. She too messes up the relationship with the first winner and ding ding ding gets another season out of the humiliation (seriously how many men does this girl have to go through)....though I Love NY isn't as annoying as Flavor of Love....its still pretty pointless..not to mention we have to see her horrible mother with the worst acrylic set of nails I have ever seen...makes me want to vomit a little ......and listen to her preach about how precious her "baby" is....

So of course in good old VH1 style they continue to pump out pointless love connection shows without any real reason.....We then are introduced to Tila Tequila...who is this women....a stripper? a porn star?....a bi-sexual....SCORE.....ooooor fumble.



This show made no sense at all. A girl who claims shes bi-sexual and wants members of the both sex to compete for her love...talk about narcissistic...This show was ridiculous and I have to say I was thoroughly disappointed in her decision. She is a girl who likes sex with girls as well as guys...her final two people were a more masculine female and a "gotti" inspired jock..and who'd she pick ....THE JOCK. Doesn't she know to prissies in a relationship never work.... (what an idiot) She could have got two for the price of one...this Danny girl was not femme at all but yet still had the tenderness of a women....IDIOT.


And now comes the rock star looking for love....Brett Michaels...Rock of Love.....lets get a bunch of hair band crazed fans corralled up and again put them in a huge mansion...pump them full of liquor and let them fight for Mr. Michaels love....

I have to admit again I watched this show in its first season...the challenges were more comical and the professing of love for Brett was entertaining... During the first episode a contestant was so drunk she could barely speak...however did manage to slur out "don't threaten me with a good time" about 100 times.....He narrowed the selection down and then finally picked again...the wrong girl...so comes a second season spin off which I have to admit am waiting for the all day Sunday marathon. The girls on this season are younger and even more trampier then season one.
One girl looks like shes had so much botox and silicon pumped into her body that she could pass for a plastic blow up doll (she carries more plastic then barbie).....and then I'm left wondering what Mr. Michaels is hiding under his bandanna....is this a fashion statement?....a secret rocker accessory....or is it just a sly way of covering up a receding hair line.....
Spin off after spin off after spin off.....its like we just can't get enough....A Tila Tequila reject has his own spin off, Flav is working on season three....and I think there are rumors that Tila is preparing to shoot it up for another shot at love...

I guess we just can't get enough.


Though non of these shows are realistic....nor spawn healthy relationships, they keep us entertained and let us feel better about our own semi-functional lives....I mean we're not chasing after greased pigs to catch our partners, or watching 50 of the most annoying kids on this earth to prove our love for someone...

Reality-ness rating -1.0






























Addiciton one - Bad Girls Club.



Are you a bad girl?-----


Seriously if this group of women is what defines what a bad girl is I think I have been seriously mistaken.


Oxygen has created a show without a purpose (go figure, most reality TV is pointless). The producers thought they would interview and hold casting calls to collect the "baddest" group of girls from across the country. I think they may have hit the jack pot but I'm not sure if it deserves the title "bad girls club"


The cast consists of a bunch of women whom love to cause conflict in a haze of drunken "conversations"


let me introduce them....(from left to right)

Jennavecia - loud mouth extrovert who says whats on her mind regardless whom she offends. (Got kicked off the show for refusal to do work at assigned place of employment)


Darlene - sloppiest drunk of them all - however realized her actions under the influence don't make her a bad girl- they make her a sloppy drunk (two points for lesson learned)


Lyric (front) - aspiring rap star? model? we didn't see much of her...could it be that her run in's with the law prohibited her from well deserved screen time? We'll never know....she left to avoid the drama? (or did she?)


Cordeilia - worlds most (un)famous porn star. Her role on the show is to be the raunchiest bad girl club member by revealing all her lude sexual acts and fantasies on camera....also thinks she a bad girl for playing guys---no wait I'm not sure who shes played....can you play a porn star...or do you just ride her like the town bicycle and move on?


Neveen - the ignoramus of the house. Constantly belittles people near or far. Claims that reason for ignorant and arrogant personality is because of her relationship with her father...however it really comes down to her low self esteem and inability to understand that she is NOT perfect.


Tanisha - definitely the most colorful of the group....also gets two points for having a revelation on ways to change her "bad girl ways". Clearly the loudest member of the house and often found laying down mean tracks based off of house experiences...please see video on oxygen website of "no sleep cause of y'all"


Hannah - Snobby white girl whom fakes a Brooklyn accent when angry or provoked by Tanisha. Doesn't do much but follow Tanisha and Neveen around adding her pointless two cents to get camera time.


There you have it America's Bad Girls Club.


I first saw them in a boring Sunday home folding laundry. You know those Sunday's when there is nothing on besides crap marathons of reality TV with low weekly ratings and lifetime movies (all of which you've seen and are longing for new based on a true story)


I noticed a group of women meeting each other much like the members of the real world meet for the first time, and exploring an enormous welly decorated home specifically designed to promote drunken nights and sexual scandals.
Did I mention they have the most enormous closet I have ever seen fully stocked with designer shoes, purses and even sexy undies? Oh, the closet is a room, a place clearly for gossip, nightlife prep time, and of course a good fight.
Each episode is skillfully edited to help develop and stimulate character in each of these women....or just show them at their "Baddest" These women selected for this show have been thrust into reality stardom making them another causality of unimportant or talent-less fame.
They each appear at bar openings, spring break parties, and of course random celebrity events to promote their "TV show".
I have to shamefully admit that I love this slice of un-reality viewing pleasure created by oxygen as for thirty minutes of my Tuesday evening is now filled with pure amusement watching un-famous women attempt to be bad, but in reality assume the character which has been pre-decided for them by the people in the editing room at oxygen.
Reality-ness rating -2.5